One definition of relationship?

There have been talks with my friends lately on our definition of dates and relationship. I remember the time when things were simple with just black and white, or at least we thought there were just black and white. At that time, there were only single and in a relationship. But when we get to know more people and get our head smashed on the wall and heart broken on the floor, it turns out things aren’t that simple at all. There are very single, single, dating, lover, fuck buddy, in an open relationship, in an exclusive relationship, engaged, married, in love with an already-married, separate-bedroom, separate-living, in the middle of breakup, in the middle of divorce, divorced, and back to market again. I had a friend from work who had nine years of relationship with her boyfriend (and now husband) and is now happily married, saying, “For me, when a couple has gone through the kissing milestone, it goes directly to a relationship. What’s going on with all these new definitions? Am I being outdated or something?” This gives me something to think about: In terms of relationship, is ignorance a bliss?

Yesterday afternoon, I had a coffee with my guy friend, who is kind and sensitive enough to talk about relationship and friendship thing with me. We honestly confessed that sometimes, in some social circles, we just didn’t feel fit in. “When I went out with that group of friends, I did have laughter on random jokes. But at the end of the day, when I thought back what I have done in those hours, I recalled nothing and I didn’t particularly enjoy that.” For friends, we sure need more than a type. Friends to just go out with, friends to have nice and long talks, friends to bullshit with, friends to eat with, friends to shop with, friends to fuck with, friends to travel with, friends at work, friends at school, so on and so forth. For friends, it is a universal truth that everyone knows there will be more than one type. It is clear we can’t get fully satisfied by staying with only one type of friends especially when they are just the friends to have fun with. But for relationship, since when we expect there will be only one type? And since when we are programmed to have “the one”?

I have been questioned constantly from time to time, “Are you still single?” or “Did you find the one?” or my favorite, “How come you are not in a relationship?” I truly and sincerely bless the ones who are in a happy relationship or marriage now from the bottom of my heart and I do believe there is true love but sometimes, my dear friend, we have different dictionaries of relationship with different phrases and definitions. And in mine, single also means single and fabulous.